I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
