My friends, they love my intelligence
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
