I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
We're too hungover to prance.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
