Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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