just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
