Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
