I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm way too hungover for life right now
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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