I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
