i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
His hands were made for my vagina.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
