I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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