hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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