omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
