Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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