and you said cock pushups were impossible
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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