I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Randomize
