everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
