shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Sorry about my life...
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