the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
my poor anus
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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