In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
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