week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
