I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
