Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
