you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
The air was thick with penises
Two words: blizzard sex
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
