let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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