That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Randomize
