I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
