the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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