I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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