Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
