I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
