If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I hate all girls vehemently.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
