I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
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