I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
