You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
