i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
