What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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