at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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