Do vagina's smell?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
