ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
