I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
look no pants
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
