Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
