I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
