that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
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