I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
