I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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