you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
