He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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