Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
