make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
