Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
