i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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