I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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