Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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