I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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